How To Actually Overcome Your Dog's Separation Anxiety.
Freya V. Locke - Dog Behaviourist | Author | Blogger. Issue 43, 2024.
Hi Gang!
Today I went to London with my partner, Peter. We were off to one of his Saab meets, where a gang of car enthusiasts get together to chat about their motors. He interviews them about their stories for his newsletter and YouTube Channel, and this generally means I am a cameraperson, and note taker, leaving no hands free to hang on to Twyla.
Twyla is not the kind of girl who likes to hang around watching filming taking place. There are far too many sniffs to sniff, and chasey things to chase. To save frustration for us both, she stays at home.
It wasn't always possible for her to be at home. When Moo, my Tibetan Terrier, passed away, she was just a small pup. She began experiencing severe separation anxiety, leading to destructive behaviour, and an upset little floofer who would cry and panic until we returned.
She chewed furniture, ripped up the carpets and couldn’t settle without us.
At first, it wasn’t so bad as we could pretty much always guarantee there would be somebody available to be with her. But that would never be the answer long term.
After all, what if we had an emergency?
Or if we wanted a simple pleasure like a family trip to the cinema …
The last thing we needed to be worried about how Twyla would cope alone. So I began work, using a technique called “Gradual Exposure.”
Gradual exposure.
This is a technique that involves teaching the dog they are safe, even when alone. We do it at a rate that the dog is comfortable with and we monitor closely for signs of distress and anxiety. After all, we want the dog to feel ok with our departures, and not that all their worst fears are coming true as we disappear out of the door.
First, we need to show our dog that it is ok to break eye contact with us. Sending them on treasure hunts for treats that involve looking in places they can’t quite see you, such as behind the sofa, or around a door is a great start to building their confidence.
Then, we begin to teach them they do not need to follow us everywhere.
If you get up from your sofa every half an hour, then it is worth their while getting up to follow you and see where you are going. Which is precisely what they will do. But imagine if you walked out of the room, and then came straight back in again.
Now think, if you do this on repeat, what will happen?
Well, at first your dog will follow you.
After a fashion, they will follow you halfway out of the room. They do not quite trust yet that you will not do something interesting, something without them.
But they have their suspicions that you will be straight back in the room again, just like the last time, and the last.
You keep going in and out, and soon, your dog will not feel the need to get up and follow, as they know you will do nothing interesting and then will come straight back in again. There is nothing worth getting up for!
Once your dog has decided they no longer need to follow you out of the room, you can start to linger outside of the room for a second or two. Slowly, build up the time you are out of the room, ensuring your dog is not beginning to worry.
If they get up to follow you, then you are staying out a bit too long and need to make it a little easier for them again. It is super important to go at their speed and not rush them.
For Twyla it took several weeks of not leaving her, unless it was for gradual exposure training, and building up her trust that we always return and that she is perfectly safe and fine. Now, when we go out, she generally hops up onto the back of the sofa, (that she is not supposed to climb on) and stretches out in blissful luxury until we return. (I wouldn't mind, but she is allowed on the nice comfy seats, and she squashes the back of the sofa down, but we can deal with that issue another day.)
Over time, you can build on this technique to getting out of the front door, and having short trips outside.
With all things dog behaviour, it is best to get proper guidance. If your dog is struggling with separation or showing separation distress related behaviours, then do give me a shout. We can organise a 121 over zoom, or if you live near to Newmarket, UK, you can go to my website and book a free call with me there!
Founding subscriber members get a free recorded online consultation with me! You can sign up using the button below.
Scrumperdinger.com
Hi Fans,
We have been bribing the dogparents to take me nice places collecting donations from all of you good boys and girls. But, we still need to hit our target!
If you want to support me in my Big 50 Mile Walk For Samaritans, you can find out all about it right here.
Also - if you like Facebook, I have started a page of my very own, right here. If your dogs have a Facebook page, let me know!!!
Your super scrumperdinger,
Twyla xx
Fun Not Fear® Journal
Find out how we helped Twyla to accept a new person moving into our home and all the changes that happened with the new living situation.
Want to know more about helping your anxious dog the Fun Not Fear® way?
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Grab your copy, and get helping the dog in your life to overcome their struggles.
Spotted and sharing.
Have you ever heard of Bobbie, a dog who got lost in 1923 during a car trip? He made his way home over the course of six months, walking 2500 miles from Indiana to Oregon. Amazing huh?
Except Bobbie is far from the only dog to have ever displayed brilliant homing abilities.
Here is a really interesting article about the phenomena which will leave you desperate to hear more such aventures.
PLUS: This brilliant article about the Five Freedoms Model, by
.
My other posts - because I write about other stuff too!
I’m Back Here Writing On Medium, After Lurking For A While.
Medium Sundays are now officially a thing. I’ll cross-post any good bits for you!
Handy links.
See you on Wednesday! If you are a Fun Not Fear® Club member, you can ask me questions to answer about YOUR dog, just drop me a DM or comment below.
Have a great few days,
Warm ‘N’ Fuzzies,
Freya xx
I absolutely love the way you write and educate Freya!! 💜 xx